If Microsoft were a car manufacturer

  1. A particular model of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year, instead of before.
  2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
  3. Occasionally your car would die for no reason, you'd have to restart it. for some strange reason, you would just accept this.
  4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
  5. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
  6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
  7. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
  8. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.
  9. New seats would force everyone to have the same size ass.
  10. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
  11. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
  12. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car. Wait a sec, it's that way NOW!
  13. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completly that they had been available in other brands for years.
  14. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas(TM)
  15. Ford, General Motors and Chrysler would all be complaining because Microsoft was putting a radio in all its models.

  VI This Site powered This Web page is Lynx Friendly!